Yadda Yadda Yadda

EDIT; Oh, and I forgot that I have another birthday party this afternoon (Saturday) that I forgot about. Great. TOO MUCH STUFF!!! And I got to bed at 3am...Zzzzz...

I think I'm going to have a rather busy weekend this weekend. I'm taking my friend Krissy out to buy a mobile this arvo, she's a bit phone illiterate you see, and needs someone with her so she doesn't make a stupid decision like last time. Then I'm going to Kelly's 23rd birthday party tonight. Tomorrow morning I'm going to the St Andrews markets with Beth, then catching up with Pete (my friend from Tassie who's over visiting for the weekend) in the afternoon. And at night I have Alex's 21st (even though his birthday was 6 months ago). Then on Sunday morning I'm singing a song with Rachel at church. Perhaps I have Sunday afternoon off. I sure hope so coz I have lots of study stuff to get done. Then I'm back at church Sunday night and I usually don't get home til about 11pm after catching up with everyone afterwards. It'll be fun though. Oh, and on Monday, I'm going to the Ben Lee/Missy Higgins concert!!! I can't wait!!! What are you guys doing this weekend?

Orby (Rob) has a blog now! WHOO!!!

Go the carrot not the stick, go the carrot not the stick.

I went to see Chicken today at his new work and we had yummy coffee/hot chocolate. Mmm... grande hot chocolate... It's a very nice shop in a nice area.

Look! It's chicken!

Mmm... Grande Hot Chocolate..

I wish I had a guy that would warn me when I was going to do something stupid before I did it. He could sing to me to warn me "MISTAKE!!!" And he'd be an opera singer. Just like JD has in Scrubs.

I love walking. I went for such a nice walk yesterday in our local park! Isn't it purdy?





Here is my puppy!

*breaks into song*

Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday To You!
Happy Birthday Dear Troy!
Happy Birthday To You!

And I don't even have a photo of him to stick up! Troy, why did you have to do something as silly as move to Sydney? Hope you have a wonderful day!

I'd also like to share my high levels of excitement over losing 3kg in the last week! WHOO!!! It's amazing what a bit of walking and a lot of water will do for you!

And Nooni has done another wonderful photo of me! She's amazing!

My amazing, wonderful brother bought me a dvd last night for no apparent reason. One of my favourite movies of all time, which I have just finished watching too late at night, Love Actually. I don't know what draws me to it so much, probably the seemingly unobtainable goal of finding love. I want romance. I just wrote a song about unrequited love, and it's something I seem to experience too much. I want love. I want to find someone who will love me and make me feel really special. I have never found that, and I long for it. Sigh...

Naomi (Nooni) & I went out for lunch today, and Nooni being the wonderfully creative girl that she is, decided to do some condiment art. Here is her attempt at writing our names. Notice how my name is now Mogoo, and her's is now Nooni.



And here are some great photos of us from the day!

Nooni


Mogoo


The gig tonight went well. Ingi & I enjoyed ourselves anyway. I don't think it was our best performance, but we still had a good time. It was great getting to play our original songs! There was this Tongan family who sang, and damn were they amazing! There were 9 kids who sang, but they had 17 kids in the family! WHOA! Islanders can really sing!

I'm so tired. Must get some spleep. Love to you all!

Well TONIGHT is our next gig! Here are the details:

Friday 21st October
$5 Entry Fee
7 - 11pm
Rosanna Uniting Church Hall
21-23 Arden Cresent

We'll be on stage at about 8:15pm and we'll play 4 or 5 songs that we wrote! How exciting!

It'd be awesome to see some of you there! We really appreciate all you guys who support us!

Here are some of my current favourite songs:

Black the sun - Alex Lloyd
Twisted Logic - Coldplay
Pointless Nostalgia - Jamie Cullum
Gypsy Girl - Lior
Tragic Kingdom - No Doubt
Spinning - Zero 7
Brothers On A Hotel Bed - Death Cab For Cutie

Well, isn't it nice to know that people have been lying to me? I was going to leave this for a couple of weeks, and reveal that I knew later, but I can't be bothered. For the most part I think it's pretty damn funny. Very clever and well done. I was fooled completely. But on the other hand I feel a tad humilated knowing that people have been laughing at me behind my back.

Still confused?

EDIT: Just making it clear that I'm not mad at anyone. I get cranky when I'm sleepy, and I haven't had enough sleep. No harm done. It's all good.

I love Bridget Jones! The movie that is. I'm a huge fan of both movies (which I own), and am very much in love with Colin Firth. I want me a lovely man like him... *sigh* And sadly I think I over identify with Bridget Jones... but I don't think I'm quite as socially awkward. Well, I hope not anyway. I watched the second movie on Sunday night again. I also love 'love actually'. I tried to buy it yesterday as an ex rental, but they'd run out of copies. Anyone who'd like to buy it for me, please feel free.

Ingi came over today and we spent about 4 hours jamming. Homework isn't important right? Good, I didn't think so. Anyway, we wrote a song together! The first real song we've written together. We've written one other song, but it was more us each writing bits separately and then putting it together. This was us actually co-writing. It worked suprisingly well! We thought it'd be so hard, but we bounced off each other so well! We're going to perform it at our gig on Friday. I'd love for people to come! Here are the details. Please come and see us! Anyway, just wanted to share my excitement over music!

I was talking with 2 of my wonderful friends tonight and it got me thinking about direction. I mean directive behaviour, when people tell you how things are going to be. It makes me so angry when people think they have the right to run anyone else's life for them. I was in a position last year where that was done for me a lot of the time. The problem is that it was done with such good intentions. People just wanted to see me cared for, but I was not cared for, I was controlled. I lost my sense of independance, and with it some of my sense of identity. How can you enjoy life, when someone else is living it for you? I spent a lot of time feeling depressed because I lost myself. I felt squashed. I felt unimportant and irrelevant. I felt untrusted, like people thought I was incapable of making good decisions without their help. How arrogant! I was being squeezed into being the person that someone else thought I should be. Even if I wanted to make those same choices, I wanted to be the one making them. How can I take ownership of my life when I have no room to make my own decisions? It is such a disempowering experience to have choices made for you, or to be coerced into making the choices that another wants you to make. I want to be empowered to be all that I can be.

All I want to do at the moment is write music, but I'm not finding the time. I have a lot of study to do and other committments. Stupid responsibilities. I could quite happily be a full time muso. Sure I'd be poor, but you know, it'd be all good. I'm so inspired at the moment. And I'm really enjoying the Missy Higgins DVD I bought a couple of weeks ago. Lots of inspiration from her. And Ingi & I are going to see Missy, Ben Lee and others in concert in a couple of weeks! YAY!!! And we have a gig coming up next week! WHOO!!! We'll be doing all originals! Come see us! Music is such an all consuming thing for me. I go through various spurts, and right now is a rather intense one of only wanting to play and sing and forsake everything else. But I am trying to keep a healthy balance. Trying.

Honestly, there are some danm hilarious shows on the abc! I saw 'spicks and specks' for the first time tonight. I didn't know what the show was, but it was sooooooooo funny!!! I laughed so much!!! It's like a game show version of 'the glass house' which is one of my favourite shows. I watched that tonight too by the way too. I just love that show, always makes me laugh. It goes up and down a bit, but usually a cack! I also watched 'black books' tonight! Love it! British comedy is great! Please tell me any hilarious shows that I'm missing out on!

I love my puppy Maggie. She's taken to sleeping on my bed over the last couple of months or so. I swear she thinks it's her bed/room and I'm just allowed to sleep there too.

Cheeky Puppy!

I have an 'I hate cats" calender. This is this months' picture.

We have fun frog toilet paper at the moment.

I don't take enough photos. Naomi & I had an afternoon out today. We went to Hahndorf's chocolates, best chocolate shop/cafe in the world! Yay!

Naomi outside the shop


The range...


Naomi's mud muffin! Mmm...


Naomi eating her muffin!


Me enjoying my iced chocolate!


Us trying to take a photo of ourselves


Me wearing a funny fish tie Naomi bought for Luke! FISH TIE!!!


Us in the car

Thankfully it's over! I've now done my talk at church, so I have one less thing to be stressed about. I'm generally not a stressy kind of person (Well I'm not entirely sure that's true, I'm not sure I always recognise when I'm stressed), but anyway, I have been a bit stressed over this. But as per usual it wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. I actually felt rather comfortable up there talking, but the preparation bit freaked me out good and proper, but in the end it did go rather well. I was happy with it anyway. It wasn't great, but it was good. I think God really used it to speak to people too which is awesome! And it's kind of the point really! I'm glad God was able to take my feeble words and do something with them. I've got some positive feedback which is good, and some of the things I said seemed to have helped people, and that was the point. I didn't do the talk for me!

I live in Melbourne, the world's second most livable city apparently. Which I would happen to agree with. Well, I think we're THE most livable city. We have been the last few years, but this year Vancouver beat us out. Grrr (Not Austin Powers Grrr)! Anyway, we have such a vast range of things to do, and I don't take advantage of it at all. I went to see Kathryn in a play last night and it was really good! Yay Kathryn! I love seeing plays and live music, but I don't get out there enough. There are always a thousand things to do in this city. I need to be more adventurous and go to places I don't usually go to, to see what's out there. I tend to go to the places I know, and while they are good, I think I'm missing out on a lot of awesome stuff. Everytime (ok, not EVERYtime, most times) I go somewhere new I find it's really interesting. Like when I went to see Mal Webb, he was amazing! I really want to go and see 'the merchants of bollywood'. It's a new production that starts in a couple of weeks. I just love the culture of Melbourne, but I don't get into it enough. GO MELBOURNE!!!

I'm supposed to be preaching at church tomorrow night and I STILL don't know what to say!!! Heeeeeeeelp!!!

Oh, and this site is HILARIOUS!!!

I feel sooo tired a lot of the time, even when I get lots of sleep. I slept for 12 hours last night and I woke up feeling utterly exhausted. It was phyiscally difficult to keep my eyes open and to get up. My friend Alison was telling me tonight that I might have sleep apnoea. I googled it and did an online test I found, and it told me I might have it. Hmmm... perhaps I should see a doctor. I am tired quite a lot of the time, but I guess it almost feels normal. I can still function and concetrate when I need to, but I am never refreshed in the mornings when I wake up, and I gather that's what sleep is meant to do for you. I just figured I wasn't a morning person, but I wonder if there is more to it. It doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get, I'm still tired when I wake up. I rarely feel really energised. Sometimes I do, but it's not very often at all.

I have to get some sleep. I'm exhausted. Hard to keep my eyes open. Literally.

What do John the Baptist & Winnie the Pooh have in common?

Their middle name!




And one of my fav jokes of all time!


What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Robin, get in the car!

Now I'm confused as to what course I should be studying. I'm currently doing a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry. But I might want to swap to a Bachelor of Counselling. I'm so confused! My college (Kingsley) is being restructured next year, as we're merging with the Sydney College of Divinity. There are new course being offered, subjects are being renamed and the whole sturcure of things is changing a bit. I was thinking of perhaps still doing a Bachelor of Arts in Ministry and doing a grad dip in Counselling afterwards.

I don't know what to do!!!
*curls up in a corner and cries*

I just had a makeover with some girlfriends of mine! Yay for Rachel & Olivia! We had so much fun! A Mary Kay woman came over to their place and we all look pretty now! But we've got nowhere to go... to bed for me! I feel like going out now damnit!

I had a history exam this morning. Silly me didn't study for it. Oops. First test I have failed to study for in this course. But I did look through my notes 5 minutes before the exam, managed to remember almost everything I read, then got a distinction. WHOO!!! GO ME!!!

This is an email I got today from Ratty. So funny!

Tired of speeding tickets?
Want to open up spaces between you and the cars around you?
Then this is for you!
Step 1: Tie these balloons to your car.
Step 2: Drive VERY FAST.
Step 3: Watch people freak out.
Step 4: Tell the nice officer you thought they were real.

Well my friends Biz & Kris are engaged! How very exciting! The big event happened on Sunday. I'm so happy for them! They've been together for about a year now, and liked each other since they first met, which was almost a year before that. How very exciting! Congrats guys!



I'm so happy for them, but slightly sad that I'm still single...
*holds a pity party for herself*

Ok, I'm freaking out. I've been asked to preach (I used that word just because I know how much revhead loves it!) on Sunday night!!! AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!! The lovely Brent and I have been asked to both do an 8ish minute talk. I'm rather freaked out. I've never done this before... I want to do it, but then again I'm scared I'll suck at it.

I had such a good day yesterday. You know how sometimes you just finish the day and then you think "Gee that was a good day.". Well yesterday was one of those days for me. I had lunch with my friend Rachel, then we just chatted for a couple of hours. Then we headed down to Warrendyte and went shopping in funky shops. Then we got gelati and went down to the river and dangled our feet in whie we ate our very melted gelati. Then we headed over to my place and did some music stuff. I just had a good day.

Bought the Missy Higgins dvd that came out today! WHOO!!!

Back to college tomorrow. Looking forward to it, but mourning the end of the holidays.

I've discovered the joys of podcasting! I've downloaded lots of triple m shebang stuff. Best show on radio! I love it! Do you know of any good things I can download as far as podcasting is concerned? I'm just loving it!

I can't wait to figure out what's wrong with me, so I can say this is the way I used to be.
- John Mayer

I think hugs are so underrated. I love a good hug. A real bear hug. It just makes me feel so good! I don't get enough really good hugs. I think we'd all be a bit happier if we got a really good hug every now and then. I think a hug says something that words can't.

Hey! He's got a chair with wheels! And here I am using my legs like a sucker!
- Homer Simpson

Well tonight we did our first all original gig! It was very exciting for us! We did 2 songs that Ingrid wrote, and 2 songs that I wrote. I have always been content to be a cover band, but now I'm really enjoying writing and performing my own music. I'd love to be an original artist. It gives me such a sense of acomplishment and satsifaction! Knowing that I have created something from nothing. I can't wait to see where this goes! I wish I had a constant outlet for my music. It annoys me that it's so sporadic. I'm really excited about all the possibilites!

You know how you don't listen to your favourite band for ages, then you start listening to them again and it's all a wonderful journey of rediscovery? No? Oh, perhaps it's just me then. Well I've done this with George. My favourite band ever! If I could sing like Katie Noonan I'd be a very happy girl! *sigh* Actually I've rediscovered a whole bunch of artists at the moment. I love when that happens!
Open mic night tonight! I'm excited!
Going to have a coffee at Hahndorfs with Chrystal today. Best chocolate shop/cafe in the world! But so bad for you... Mmmm... bad for me...
I'm really really getting into song writing! Never thought I'd enjoy it this much. I dreamt about writing music last night!
I'm rewatching season 5 of Angel at the moment. GO ANGEL!
Only 5 days left of holidays...

Now I'll assume that you're aware that I adore Missy Higgins. Well I have super exciting news! She has a DVD coming out on October 2nd/3rd. I read two different dates on her website. Grrr... stupid confusing website. Guess what I'll be doing on October 2nd/3rd? Shopping!!! I'm so excited!

Speaking of music, is anyone coming to see us play at the open mic night tomorrow? It'd just be nice to know who's coming. Feel free to show up even if you don't tell us you're coming, but it'd be cool to have an idea of who's coming. Details here.

So I got bored with my blog and decided to give it a face lift. What do you think?
And Luke (my brother) now has a blog! How exciting!

I talked about wanting to be more silly a few entries ago. Well, it still applies. I like being random and silly. About a week and a half ago I was out with some friends and we were driving around, and Alex just started yelling random things out the window to people on the street like, "See you at 7!". It was hilarious! They looked so confused! I love it! Tell me what silly things you've done! I feel like a good chuckle!

Synergy (acoustic duo I'm in), has a blog now! WHOO! Here it is!

I'm twitch free! After 6 days! WHOO!

I've been getting into song writing lately. Ever since I got my super exciting keyboard! I've always wanted to write music, but I've never really had the means to do so. I've had a guitar for a number of years, but I'm not good enough on the guitar to try to write music on it. I find the task of writing a song rather daunting. I want to do it, but I always find it difficult. But I will perservere with it, because it's something I really love doing. I wrote my first real song on my own about 2 and a half weeks ago. I really enjoyed doing it, even though I didn't always find it easy. I started writing another song on Saturday, but it just wasn't happening for me. It ended up being rather tragic and nothing came from it, but yesterday I got some music down. Then last night I managed to write some lyrics. I always find it very difficult to write lyrics. I find myself in two extremes, either too corny or too abstract. It takes me a long time to sort out words that make the point, but don't sound cliche. I'm slowly getting there, but I have to go through a lot of crap to get where I want to be. Some of the things I wrote last night were so tragic I can't even repeat them! Ug... But I do love writing music and I'll continue to do it! I almost have another complete song! WHOO!

Well Naomi has done another awesome picture of me! And here it is!



Isn't she a wonderfully talented chicky?!

Last night I went to the palace in Camberwell and hung out with Alison. We had a really good time. We had a drink, then wandered down bourke rd to a cafe and got some food, then went back to see a cover band that did 1, maybe 2 songs that were written after 1980. They were kinda fun though.

Grand final day. I think the swans will win.

64 hours and 15 minutes... Still twitching... not visible at the moment, but still there.

EDIT: 71 hours and STILL counting... I've actually discovered that my eyebrow is slightly swollen. Perhaps I was bitten by something.

EDIT: Look at this!!!! It's soooooo funny! Thanks to King Kohl (aka Matt)


48 hours and counting...
And it's not a tiny twitch either, I can see it in the mirror, so people can notice it! Usually they just feel like crazy big twitches, but no one else can see it. But I can see this when I look in the mirror! ARGH!

Ok, new theory. My eyebrow is not twitching. It is still and the rest of me is twitching. And in that case, most of me (well, all of me minus my right eyebrow) has been twitching for 26 hours. It's getting to me...

The open mic night thing went so well tonight! We had 9 people come to see us which was awesome. Ingi & I love you guys! Thanks so much for coming! We really REALLY appreciate the support! That place has such good acoustics! Though there was a distinct lack of foldback which I really need. I need to be able to hear myself so that I can remain in tune. We got to play 12 songs! 2 sets of 6 which was awesome! Although usually I think it would be 1 set of 6. If anyone wants to perform at an open mic night I'd like to recommend this place. While there weren't heaps of people there, the people who are are very friendly and accomodating. They just adored us which was nice. We're planning on going next Thursday too, so anyone who wants to tag along is welcome. We love having a crowd! It means a lot to us. I just love performing. It's so much fun!!!

EDIT: 42 and a half hours and still twitching...

I have a huge crazy twich in my right eybrow that won't go away! It feels so so so weird!

EDIT: Ok, it's been 14 hours now and the twitch is still there! I don't think I've ever had a twitch that lasted this long!

EDIT: It's been 18 hours now... still twitching away...

EDIT: 19 hours and 40 minutes and counting...

EDIT: 22 and a half hours...

Well Lior last night was incredible! The support act was rather odd to say the least, but Lior himself was brilliant! He played a lot of stuff off his debut album 'autumn flow', and then some other things that I hadn't heard before! He also sang 2 songs in Hebrew which were amazing! He was born in Israel, but raised in Sydney, and you can see his Hebrew influence in his music. I adore it! He is such an incredible guitarist, and his voice! *sigh* It's strong, controlled and has such a beautiful tone! I'm rather in love with his music at the moment. I wish I could write music like that! You guys who didn't come missed an incredible night. I recommend getting along to see him if you get the chance.

On another note, Ingi & I are doing an open mic night tomorrow (Thursday). We haven't done one for quite a while, so it'll be nice to get up and perform again. We're not sure what time we'll actually be on stage. If you want to come along here are the details:
Thursday 22nd (tomorrow)
Arlington (Wattle Park Chalet) off Riversdale Rd in Surrey Hills (Melway map 60 J2/K3)
8pm - 11:30pm (but there's no need to stay the whole time)
FREE!

An update on the acoustic duo I'm in. I'm not sure if many people got that there is a new song up on Synergy's website. I took off the Missy Higgins song, and put up "Feeler" by Pete Murray. So feel free to have a peek.

Look what Naomi did! Isn't is just awesome?!! It's me! There is some text that goes with it underneath. It's called "hidden kiss".



Theres a kiss there, hidden on those lips, she's not sure who it's for yet, but it's there...

I'd just like to say that my hair is sitting super weird because I had just had a shower and it was wet and just not happening for me.

I was thinking (dangerous I know!), and I think there are two things I'd like to be more prominent in my life.

The first is Encouragement. I want to be someone who encourages, someone who actively invests in others. I think it would make more of a difference than I can even imagine if I was a person who constatntly encouraged those around me. I love seeing what it does for people when they feel encouraged. And I kind of enjoy being encouraged myself! :)

The second thing I'd like to be more prominent in my life is silliness! That's right! I love being silly, and being silly with others! I don't like stupidity, there is a big difference. I think the difference between the two is responsibility. I think stupidity lacks responsibility and can hurt people, but silliness is just being a bit strange or different or spontaneous but still with a sense of responsibility. I love doing fun things for the sake of it. I like being silly! Bring on the silliness! MORE SILLINESS FOR ALL! Randomness is a lost art for most. But I can think of certain people who take it to new heights! :)

ENCOURAGEMENT & SILLINESS!

I did a public speaking course called "Synapse" this weekend. I learnt so much, and I just loved it! The aim was to equip us with tools so that public speaking becomes manageable and less daunting, and I certainly feel that is true for me! A lot of it was about the art of story telling, how powerful stories can be to make a point. There were about 25 of us who did the course. It was so awesome to spend the weekend getting to know some people better too. I feel like I've made some new friends this weekend, and strengthened some other friendships. Anyone reading this who was at Synapse: YOU ROCK!!!

I've just had a fantastic weekend! Synapse was great, the theatre sports on Saturday night were incredible, and I had a great day yesterday. After Synapse finished I had lunch with a bunch of people, then 6 of us went to visit Luke in hospital. He's coming home today! WOOT! Then we went to Lygon Street and had Gelati while we sat in a park. Mmm... Gelati... I'm sorry Kathryn! Kathryn hates it when I get gelati without her! I still love you! Then I went to church, and we went back to Brent's place to paly table tennis and stuff.

I'm on 2 weeks holiday! WHOO! Mid-semester break!

Check out my blog and links list. Lots of new blogs and links to check out! Brent has had a blog for a while which he has been keeping from us! And Naomi has a gallery now! Yay!

EDIT: If you want to check out Synergy's (the acoustic duo I'm in) website, I've taken off the Missy Higgins song, and put up a Pete Murray Cover.

I just wrote this huge giant blog and when I posted it, it just disappeared! It's happened to me before. It took me ages to write this big long blog about my weekend and lots of other stuff! It's so weird, it's all there, I click publish post, it says it does it, then the post is empty! Noooooooo!!!!!!!!!!

So I went to see some professional theatre sports tonight in St. Kilda. I had soooo much fun! I've never seen real professional theatre sports before. It's all improvisation stuff. This was the second last show of a bunch of international players that are over here for a festival at the moment, so it was some of the best players in the world all together. They were just so spontaneously creative and hilarious! They had a lighting chick, an MC and a dude on keyboard who provided music stuff inbetween and during most of the skit things.

Mostly it was just various combinations of the players doing short games, and the audience would shout out ideas and they'd run with them, but twice they got people from the audience up on stage. They got this dude called Ross up there and he dressed up like a woman and it was all a bit weird. Then they asked for someone to get up and play the piano for them while they did a musical number, and all my friends (thanks guys...) were pointing at me, so I got up and played! It was so much fun! I'm so glad I did it! I played this predicatble progression to start with, then moved on to some slow jazz, to funky jazz, to deep moving jazzy stuff, to pretty chords. The players sang all this hilarious stuff! It was just awesome fun, and they gave me some red bull as a thank you! Haha!

I recommend going to see professional theatre sports if you get the opportunity! Great stuff!

So I'm really into Lior at the moment. He's a new singer/songwriter from Sydney. He's just so talented (not to mention gorgeous!), I adore his voice and he writes such beautiful music. Everyone should go out and buy his debut album "Autumn Flow"! I'm hopefully going to see him with Ingi this Tuesday night in Belgrave (a bit of a hike I know). I'm really excited about it!

I've updated my links list now, so check it out down the left side! Ingrid has a music site all of her own now as she does some teaching! Check it out here!

I'm doing a public speaking/preaching course this weekend called Synapse. I'm really enjoying it so far! Revhead is one of the people running it, and it's really interesting. I'm really looking forward to learning how to more effectively communicate.

Luke is doing much better! He's still in lots of pain but really improving. He's getting out of bed now which is fantastic! He should be home on Monday if all continues to go well. He's still bored though, so please feel free to go and visit him those of you who know him. Those of you who don't, perhaps going to visit him would be a little creepy... :)

"We have a natural tendency to think that no one understand the uniqueness of our particular situation. This tendency is based on our bent toward blaming and externalizing our problems, thereby avoiding the hard work of taking ownership and working through them. If we can say, no one truly understands my life, it helps us feel justified to stay out of the growth path."

Pg. 93 "How People Grow" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

Update on Luke. He'll just love me calling him Lukey Pukey! Anyway, he's doing so much better today! It's incredible! He's still in lots of pain, but he says it's different pain, and much more bearable this time around. Yesterday was a difficult day for him, but today he is doing much better. He can breathe with no pain now which is just so good. Anyone who wants to go and visit him can. He's bored as you can imagine. He says thanks to everyone who's been praying for him. He really appreciates all the support he's been getting.

Well Luke went in today for his second operation. He now has 2 metal rods attached to his spine. It was such a major operation! He is in extreme amounts of pain. He can't move at all now. At least last time he could move his legs and his arms, now he can kind of move his arms, and not his legs at all. He's really suffering a lot. He kept saying how unbearable the pain was. It's horrible! So keep praying for him guys. It's so hard for me to see him like that and not be able to do anything for him. It made me cry, and I have tears in my eyes as I write this. My parents are rather stressed at the moment too. It's a tough time for our family. But we know God is looking after us. I just hope Luke feels better really really soon!

But the operation was a big success. They said everything went as expected and he came through it really well. But unfortunately that doesn't stop him being in lots of pain now. Here are some photos from tonight. First one is Luke in bed, the second one is Luke's freaky eyes. The morphine made his pupils all tiny and he wanted me to take a photo of his eyes so he could see them later. He can't really open his eyes at the moment. Then there is a photo of his hilarious socks! They are designed stop his blood from clotting, but I just think they're funny!

"When our approach to life revolves around discipline, commitment, and knowledge but runs from feeling the hurt of unmet longings, then our efforts to love will be marked more by required action than by liberating passion. We will be known as reliable, but not invovled. Honest friends will report that they enjoy being with us, but have trouble feeling close. Even our best friends (uncluding spouses) will feel guarded around us, a little tense and vaguely distant."

Pg. 107 of 'Inside Out' by Dr. Larry Crabb

I have felt this so much from others over the time I spent in Tassie. It's a horrible way to live. Such disconnection.

That's a word right?
Anyway, I have written my very first real song on my own. I'm very excited! Having a keyboard is awesome! I now have the means to do all this stuff I've wanted to do for such a long time. So anyway, I've written my first song, and I'm going to perform it at church tonight. I'm actually very nervous about it. It makes me feel very vulnerable for some reason. I have issues with opening myself up to criticism.
*giggles nervously*

"And we must admit our questions of others rarely invite a complete and honest sharing from their hearts. We all have a tendancy to keep safely distant from each other's feelings. To deal with what's really going on inside is disturbing, too uncomfortable; so we hide the inside truth from others - and from ourselves. Life works better that way. That's the clear message we've learned from many of our teachers and the one we communicate to others by our non-involvement."

- pg. 98 of 'Inside Out' by Dr. Larry Crabb

Here are some of my current favourite songs:

Daniel by Lior
Sitting with a stranger by Lior
Beautiful Love by The Afters
The power of two by The Indigo Girls
Ordinary People by John Legend
Sparks by Coldplay
Destiny by Zero 7
Hold me tight by Missy Higgins

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
It's finally happened!!!!!!!
I got a keyboard today! This is the most exciting thing ever! Ok, not ever, but very high up there for me. I've wanted this for so many years. I've never owned a keyboard or piano. I've been playing for a number of years now, but I've always had to play other people's, or public ones. Now I can practice to my heart's content! I can play any time of day or night too because I can just plug headphones in. Talk about features! This thing can do almost anything! I got a Yamaha PSR-1100. Here is what I got. I got a great deal too. It's a $2000 keyboard, and I got it for $1400. I also got $380 worth of accessories for $160. Yay!

By the way, I still need to do a song on Sunday night about listening, and I have no idea what to do. HELP ME! :( I was thinking of just writing a song because there aren't any songs about listening!!! SHould I do that? Revhead?

Happy half birthday to me!
Happy half birthday to me!
Happy half birthday dear Megan/Tink/Ludicrousity!
Happy half birthday to me!

Well today, the 7th of September is my half birthday. I am officially 23 and a half. How exciting!!! And no one has remembered! No half cards, no half presents, no half phone calls, no half sms's. Nothing! Where has the long standing tradition of half birthdays gone? I'm sad that I'm spending my half birthday at home doing home work while people go on with their days like it's not my half birthday...

On another note, I need help. I've been asked to sing a song at church this Sunday night and it's supposed to be about listening. I can't think of any songs even remotely on the topic. If you can think of any, please let me know.

Anyone who didn't come to see Mal Webb on Friday night missed a fantastic night! It ended up being Kate, Rob, Alison, Andrew G (NOT from idol, just in case you thought I had celeb connections) and myself. He played for almost 3 hours this time! He's really big on audience interaction/participation. He gets people up to play instruments from time to time and I got up for 2 songs and played a little keyboard thing with a mouthpiece you have to blow in for it to make a sound. How fun! I even got a keyboard solo in each song! Haha! And Kate got up and did a dance demonstration with him. It was so fun! Anyone who hasn't been yet has to come at least once before he leaves. ONly 2 weeks to go!

Guess what I did yesterday? Ok, that was a rhetorical question for those of you who are trying to guess before I say what it is. But really, you can guess if you like. Go on. Try and guess. I mentioned it kind of in the first paragraph. Ok, now I'll tell you. I went keyboard shopping!!! That's right! I'm buying a keyboard!!! I'm soooooooo excited! I've played the piano for a number of years now, but I've never owned one. I've always had to go to other people's houses to pratice, or had to play on public ones. I can't wait to finally have my own!!! Hopefully I'll have one by next weekend. Does anyone know much about keyboards? I'm looking at either a Yamaha PSR 1100 or a Roland EXR 7. They have the craziest features! They were both on sale from $2000 to $1400. WHOO!!! :)

And can someone tell me what the hell this is?!

And this?!

I'm going to see Mal Webb again tonight. I told you about him a few weeks ago, he's that amazing musician guy who can do anything! He can do anything with his voice, and I swear he knows everything there is to know about music! I can't wait! WHOO!

I went to visit Luke with Naomi today. We did some shopping, had lunch at Nandos (Mmmm... Nandos...) then went to the hospital. I also bought a 'make poverty history' band. Finally! I've had such trouble finding them anywhere! I bought one for Luke too. Everyone should buy them! You can now get them at any HMV store.

Naomi got a puppy last night!!! I went and saw it and it's soooo adorable! Here she is. She's called 'Sugar'. Coz she's so sweet... awww....




Here are more photos from the hospital today.

This is mum & Luke



This is the dolphin Naomi bought for him



This is my blue turtle that he has ON LOAN from me

I'm sure I've told you how much I love Missy Higgins! I bought her new single this week 'the sound of white'. Even though I have her album, I buy all her singles too because they have all these awesome B sides! This one has 2 great B sides. My favourite Missy song is actually a B side on 'the special two' single. It's called 'drop the mirror'. Incredible song! I'm going to see her, Ben Lee, Ash Grunwald and the McMenamins on Oct 31st at the Sidney Myer music bowl. I can't wait!!! It's going to be so awesome! I'm going with Ingi and we can't wait!

I saw Luke again today. He didn't have such a great day. He's in a lot of pain (understandably) and he's getting bored (understandably). They tried to get him out of bed for the first time today, but he was just in too much pain, so they didn't, he just sat on the edge of the bed instead. He's coping fairly well, but it's hard for him. He said he's not in as much pain as he thought he'd be, but it's still pretty bad. I find it hard to see him like that. I feel so helpless. He's my little brother! :(

Keep praying for him guys!!!

I just got back from the hospital again. Luke is doing so much better! It's incredible!!! We couldn't have hoped for a better recovery! He can move his arms and legs now with no pain (on day two!!!) which is so awesome. That means he can get stuff off the table for himself, and operate the tv and his ipod, and things like that. He can't move his body, but they did roll him on his side a couple of times today to get him moving. He still can't get out of bed and had to have a sponge bath today. Haha! He's still really positive, but getting bored coz his day goes so slowly. He's having trouble sleeping because of all the drugs and because his body has suffered severe trauma. I'm taking him things to cheer him up each day, and he's loving that. He loves when people come to see him coz he gets so bored, so please feel free to visit him. He can keep his eyes open now and talk better, although his speech is still a little slow, but he's thinking clearly.

Here's another photo I took tonight. He's pulling a silly face as you can see!

Well Luke had his operation this afternoon. I went and saw him tonight and he's doing really really well! As well as can be expected anyway. The operation went perfectly! Thank God! He's in pain obviously, but he says it's bearable which is awesome. Mentally he's doing really well. He's positive and was bagging me out tonight, so he's still Luke! He can't move yet, but he should be out of bed in 3 or 4 days. Apparently the quicker they get him moving the faster he'll heal, and it prevents further complications. He has lots of tubes and things connected to him at the moment because he can't move. It doesn't look fun.

If you want to visit him I'm sure he'd absolutely love it! Visiting hours are between 2pm - 8pm daily. If you want to know where he is, just email me or call me or sms me or something and I'll let you know.

When I walked in there tonight I had tears well up in my eyes and I had to stop myself from crying. He looked so helpless and so broken. That's my little brother there. I love him and it was hard to see him suffering like that. But once I got talking to him I felt so much better, knowing that he's got such a positive outlook on this whole thing. It's hard to see him like this and know that there is nothing I can do. Well I can be there for him and I know he appreciates that.

Keep praying for him guys. It's a long journey that's only just begun! Here are some photos that I took at the hospital tonight. If you're wondering what that strange green thing he's holding is, it's a spikey, squishy, green, glow in the dark ball thing I bought when I went shopping with Naomi yesterday. Thought it'd be fun. He is always fiddling with stuff, and he loved it!!!

Just wanted to let you know some huge news that's happening in our family. As some of you know, my brother Luke has severe scholiosis (for those of you who don't know what that is, it's curviture of the spine). He is going into hospital tomorrow for some very serious surgery. It's a really huge operation. He has the first stage of the surgery tomorrow and the second stage in 2 weeks time. He will be out of action for a few months.

Tomorrow (Tuesday) they are operating at about 1pm, and they are removing a couple of discs and cutting away muscles and tendons from his spine to prepare him for the second stage of surgery. In 2 weeks, they then attach 2 metal rods to his spine and basically tie them to it to try to straighten it out as much as possible.

If you could pray for him, that would be wonderful! This means lots of things for our family, having to care for him and rearrange our lifestyles for a while. Thanks so much!

I love you Luke! You're a wonderful brother and a wonderful man. I'm so sorry you have to go through this, but I'm always here for you!

Naomi & I had a fun shopping expedition today (which invlovled lots of cd's, dvd's, jewelery & random strange things) and then had lunch at Nandos. Mmm.... Nandos. I didn't realise how yummy Nando's was. I would like to highly recommend them to everyone. For less than $10 I got a great chicken wrap, chips and a drink. I couldn't eat it all it was just so much food! I'll be going back there! Here is a photo of me & a penguin in "Australian Geographic". One of Naomi & I's favourite shops!

Last night I was in a friend's car and he had 'faithless' playing, and I was really intrigued by some of the lyrics to one of the songs. It's called 'Mass Destruction'

Whether long range weapon or suicide bomber
Wicked mind is a weapon of mass destruction
Whether you're soar away Sun or BBC 1
Misinformation is a weapon of mass destruct
You could a Caucasian or a poor Asian
Racism is a weapon of mass destruction
Whether inflation or globalization
Fear is a weapon of mass destruction
Whether Halliburton, Enron or anyone
Greed is a weapon of mass destruction
We need to find courage, overcome
Inaction is a weapon of mass destruction

My psych & counselling class yesterday once again provked me to think about my life. I was wondering how much I contaminate the relationships I'm in. There is so much of my behaviour that is unconscious. I do things that just come naturally so often without stopping to think first. This is obviously a necessary part of life in many ways. If we had to stop and think about everything before we did it we'd go insane. I'm glad I can drive a car and do up my shoe laces without having to think about it. But what of my unconscious behaviour is not a helpful thing? I am very quick to speak up, and I am learning to leave more space for others. I know that I also have a 'need' to be the best at everything I do, so when I don't feel secure in my preceived identity that I am the best, I can get very defensive, and my behaviour becomes a projection of my insecurity.

Everyone has a sense of self that they instinctly protect, mostly this is unconscious. We spend most of our energy protecting this unsconscious identity. I want to be aware of how I see myself so that I can assess it and try to figure out what parts of me are real, and what parts are wrong. I know that I actually do not have to be the best at everything. Because I am aware of that, I can make choices around it, and try to change my internal dialogue. I can tell myself that these messages inside my head are not true, and hopefully my behaviour will change as a result of this shift in perceived identity.

It's one thing to be aware of many of these things that I am trying to work on, but how much do I do that I am still unaware of? Quite a lot I'd imagine. I don't want to be doing things that are harmful to building intimacy in my relationships. It goes against human nature to think before acting. We are not wired to instinctively refelct, so it is a difficult discipline to actually do it. I want to get better at thinking about the consequences of my actions before I act. I want to build positive relationships and encourage other people in any way I can.

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river."

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.

Sermon complete, he sat down. The song leader stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, nearly laughing, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn #365, "Shall We Gather at the River."

I am so ridiculously tired. I haven't had much sleep since Monday. Mostly because I'm disorganised and I don't get to bed easly because I'm either studying, or on the internet and I lose track of time. But last night I tried to get to sleep and I was just drifting off when I swear something ran up my leg and brushed my stomach! I freaked right out and jumped out of bed! I ripped the doona off and tried to find out what it was. I took my doona and sheets off the bed but I couldn't find anything. I was half asleep so I'm not entirely convinced that it wasn't all in my head. Although I'm pretty sure it wasn't. I couldn't figure out what it could have been though. Spiders don't move that quickly. It could have been a mouse I guess, but I've never had a mouse in my room and couldn't find one last night. I ran out of ideas and just got back in bed. But then I couldn't sleep coz I was sure it'd come back. So I hardly slept at all coz my mind was mostly focused on the fact that I might need to jump out of bed again any second. It was very unsettling and just made me feel ill and paranoid. I actually was feeling sick from lack of sleep and fear. I hope I get some more sleep tonight.

Chickenhead is supposed to be at my house. We were going to watch 'taken'. He just hasn't shown up. He was supposed to be here at 10pm, and it's now 10:50pm. I'm assuming he's not going to show. I sent him an sms to find out where he is and he hasn't replied. Are you anywhere out there chicken? I'm just going to go to bed. Sooooo tired...

EDIT: Chickenhead rang me this morning and he fell asleep watching stargate last night waiting for 10pm to come around so he could come over to my place. He didn't wake up til 2am, so that's why he didn't just show up. Silly boy!

I have weird dreams. I have so many of them, but I just thought I'd share one.

Brent was a cod fish! And he could talk to this seahorse that was in the same tank as him. Then he changed back into human Brent, but he could change back into a fish whenever he wanted to. Brent and I were all excited coz he was the first person to ever communicate with a seahorse and we thought we'd get rich or famous or something because of it.

It's official! Thanks for all your feedback guys, and based on it, Ingi & I have decided that our new band name is "SYNERGY". It's official. That's what we are going to be know by from now on. Ratty (Hugh) is in the process of designing a logo for us which we are highly excited about! Yay for Ratty! Wish he had a blog for me to link to. He's a wonderful guy who lives in Perth, WA. I haven't actually met him, but we've been chatting on a forum for about 5 or 6 years now. Great guy!

Guess what we (my family) got today? A wireless network system!! WHOO!!! I've just finished setting it up, so now I can use the internet from my room on the lap top. I'm so excited! There will be much less fighting over the computer now between Luke & I.

And a huge HAPPY BIRTHDAY to the wonderful Paul (Master Peebody)! I hope you have a super exciting day dude! Everyone get excited for Paul's birthday!

I'd also like to share with you that I'm having a great hair day today.

Ok, so Ingi & I are in the final stages of name development for our acoustic duo! Wow, didn't I make that sounds fancy? Ok, so we're just stuck on a name for our band. We have two options that we both like, and we thought we'd put it to you guys to see which name works best. We like:
1. No Image
2. Synergy

Now having a definition for synergy makes it sound extra awesome! So here is the definition if that influences your choice:
The interaction of two or more agents or forces so that their combined effect is greater than the sum of their individual effects.

So let us know. I'd create a poll for it, but I don't know how to, so just tell me and I'll tally the results.

OH YEAH!!!!!! Thanks to the amazing bigassposer (who I might add is my new best friend) I have managed to upload 2 of our songs to the net for all to hear! So if you're interested in hearing two of the songs on our brand new demo cd go HERE! The first song is 'this is how it goes' which is a cover of a Missy Higgins song, and the second song is 'any which way' which is by Ingi & I! YAY!!!!! I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!

EDIT: Apparently some people aren't sure who is who. I'm singing and Ingi is on guitar.

Ingi & I have finally finished our demo cd! WHOO!!!!!!
*insert lots of excited girly screams*
We went over to Blaine's place on Wednesday night and finished mastering it. We now have a 5 track demo cd now that we can send out to venues to try and get a regular gig! I hope you'll all come and see us when that finally happens! We're really looking forward to that day! This is our track listing:

Feeler - Pete Murray
Any which way - Written by us!
This is how it goes - Missy Higgins
Better off alone - Grinspoon
Better be home soon - Crowded House

Anyway, part of what we'd like to do is make it available to our friends to listen to on the net. I'm trying to figure out how to upload them for free so people can go to a site and listen to them. Does anyone know how to do that? If you do, it'd be awesome if you could either email me or post in the comments how to do that. Thanks! We're planning on doing that next Friday and then going out to celebrate on Friday night and calling it our 'album launch party'! WHOO! How fun!

Tonight I had a psychology & counselling class, and afterwards one of the girls in my class said to me "You're really brainy". HAHA! How funny is that?! Not sure anyone has ever actually called me brainy. Do people ever actually called people brainy? Apart from that bad tv show 'Australia's Brainiest Kid". What a funny word!

Speaking of brains...

Do you know who they are? I absolutely love them, especially their album 'rites of passage' and the song 'power of two'. You know how you have these favourtie artists that you stop listening to for ages then you get all excited when you rediscvoer them? That's what it's like for me at the moment with the indigo girls. I love the songs 'ghost' 'jonas & ezekiel' 'galileo' and 'power of two'. I love heaps of their other stuff too, but they spring to mind as favourites. I love music! I'd go insane with out it think.

I got a new photo! Yay for me! Here is a bigger version of it (it's in my profile a bit smaller). This is what I look like today. I'm wearing those clothes and hat right now. I'm even in the same room! Oooooo..... It's like... something... yeah! WHOO YEAH WHOO!



Also, now Matt (king Kohl) has a link on the side of my blog! Yay for Matt and his awesome gallery!

Just wanted to say that I'm feeling much better today, even though I'm more tired than I was yesterday. I'm sitting here listening to the "Ministry Of Sound Chillout Sessions 5" before I go to college coz I'm ready early for once. I must say that I just adore this cd. Who wants to get me "Ministry Of Sound Chillout Sessions 6"? Any takers?

What is up with human emotions? They are wonderful, but at times higly annoying. I hate when they don't reflect anything of reality. I feel like hiding myself away and just having a break from people for no apparent reason. I was sitting in class this afternoon thinking "all I want to do is go home". It's partially because I just haven't had enough sleep, but I have no idea why I get like this some times. Urrrgh! Annoyingness! I just need to chill out I think. I have no idea why I'm feeling stressed out.

Well I just thought I'd write a bit about church tonight. It was a really great service. I sang those 2 songs I posted earlier in the week, and Dboy gave a talk. He did a wonderful job. Yay for Danny! Oh, and king kohl said he wouldn't tell me what he thought of my musical stuff unless it was in blog form!

Anyway, the topic tonight was about loneliness and how to deal with it. It's incredible the kind of mechanisms we come up with for coping with loneliness. Some of the more prominent ones are things like substance abuse and escapism. I have even used people as a means to escape loneliness. I know that sounds weird, but I am a very people orientated person, and I used to use company to not have to deal with my own problems. If I'm surrounded by others all the time, then I don't have time to think about myself and get lost in my internal world. I've sorted through that issue, but it used to be a big one for me in high school.

There is a really helpful diagram I learnt when I was studying in Tassie. Here it is:



The outer layer is the phoney but positive self that we show others, the second layer is the negative self view that we have. It's the part of ourselves that we think is the actual real self that we just don't show people. It's all the bad stuff we believe about ourselves. I used to get stuck in that, as a lot of people do. But there is another layer!!! The inner circle that is the actual real us. The person we are, with all our potential, all our wonderful parts, but with the flaws also. It's important to remember that the negative stuff isn't all there is to us! This means we are amazing people worthy of being loved by others. We are worth something! This was a great realisation for me, as I got stuck in the negative self view! I just thought it might be helpful for others to read as it helped me so much!

Ok, so there seems to be a demand for my wonderful brother, therefore I have decided to start hiring him out to people. At this stage the going rate is $200 a day. He will be performing all the usual brother type things. Giving and receiving psychological torment, acting as a scapegoat, performing menial tasks such as changing the channel on the tv, getting drinks and retreiving miscellaneous items. He is a wonderful brother indeed, and other people seemed to have recognised this, so I saw an opportunity for exploitation! Hey, I said he was wonderful, not me. Do I have any takers? Oh, and his name is Luke and he is 20 in case this makes a difference.

EDIT: Here is the man on offer!

Well it's late, I'm tired, and I had a psychology/counselling class tonight, so I'm feeling rather introspective...

I was thinking about what my world view is, how I define who I am, what I believe, and what is true. I have had a lot of influences over the years, some good some bad, all shaping. I have picked up so much along the way, but I don't always stop to let some of it go. Is it right just to pile it all up and never sort through it again? I don't think it is.

After spending 2 years with a training organisation that is very all consuming while you're in it, I have had to do some assessing of what I really think this year. I have been trying to figure out what's me and what's them. What is it that I honestly want to take on board as truth and use in my life? What what propegated that I don't necessarily want to take with me? I'm trying to draw some personal boundaries and 'own' things for myself. I want to have integrated ideas and feelings. I don't want to just regurgitate things that have been fed to me. I want to know who I am and what I think, and be confident in that.

We were looking tonight at different views of psychology and theology, and different ways they can be viewed as they relate to each other. It made me think of how I relate to external influences. What do I just take from others? What is authentically mine? What is valid to take on board, and what ought I to leave behind? I'm thinking a lot about self identification and my self concept. Who am I, and what is it that I am owning as being authentically me? What have I mistaken for being what I really think? Some things I can work through and then accept as things that I do want to take on board, but others I can consider and then realise that I want to explore it further, or develop it, or leave it behind.

It's an interesting journey of figuring out who I am and what is valid in my life.

So I volunteered a while ago to do an item at church one Sunday night if they ever needed anything, and it seems this week is it. I sent a bunch of songs to Kate to see which one she thought would fit the theme best, and she decided that she liked two of them, so it seems I'm singing two songs! The theme this week is 'loneliness and how to deal with it', which I think is a fantstic idea because everyone struggles with this at one time or another. Especially as a teenager/young adult. I'm doing 'something's missing' by John Mayer, and 'untitled' by Simple Plan. Great songs. I'm doing the simple plan one by myself, I'll just accompany myself on keyboard, but I think I'll need a bit more of a band to pull off the John Mayer song. I don't think it would work just as a piano piece. Wish I could play the guitar better. Here are the lyrics if you're interested in reading them:



SOMETHING'S MISSING - JOHN MAYER

I'm not alone, I wish I was
'Cause then I'd know I was down because
I couldn't find a friend around
To love me like they do right now
They do right now

I'm dizzy from the shopping mall
I searched for joy but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
And a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is
At all

When Autumn comes, it doesn't ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is, no I don't know what it is
At all

I can't be sure that this state of mind
Is not of my own design
I wish there was an over-the-counter test for
loneliness
For loneliness like this

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
Something's missing
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Something's different
And I don't know what it is
No I don't know what it is

Friends - check
Money - check
Well-slept - check
Opposite sex - check
Guitar - check
Microphone - check
Messages waiting on me when I come home - check

How come everything I think I need
Always comes with batteries?
What do you think it means?
How come everything I think I need...



UNTITLED - SIMPLE PLAN

I open my eyes
I try to see but I'm blinded by the white light
I can't remember how
I can't remember why
I'm lying here tonight
And I can't stand the pain
And I can't make it go away
No I can't stand the pain

Chorus:
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Everybody's screaming
I try to make a sound but no one hears me
I'm slipping off the edge
I'm hanging by a thread
I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered
And I can't explain what happened
And I can't erase the things that I've done
No I can't

How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

I've made my mistakes
Got no where to run
The night goes on
As I'm fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me

Well who would have thought that I'd ever enjoy history?! I always hated history, but I am loving all the history I'm studying at the moment. it's facinating stuff! I wonder why I find it interesting now and I didn't then...
*goes away to ponder*

So I'm getting even more organised now. GO ME! It's such a good feeling being organised, and I don't experience that too often. I got a memory stick today, courtesy of my dad. THANKS DAD! So helpful! It's a 256MB one. And I got a big yearly planner for my wall so I can plan things out better and try to be better organised. I'm very excited about this whole getting organised thing. I'm borrowing dad's laptop for the night coz I need to get some work done. I really need to get my own lap top, coz dad needs his at work, and Luke (my brother) works from home and needs our home computer a lot. The problem with this is that I can't afford to get a lap top. I kinda need $1400 to get one, and yeah, I have no money. I'm paying off bible college fees and trying to have money to live. I'm not sure what I can do about this. *sigh* Just having a whinge...

I was having such a good day. I was very productive! I did lots of organising (which is a HUGE weak point of mine by the way) and lots of study, and I got out and did some exercise. I was feeling very good about myself. Then something happened, that was almost entirely outside of my control, and now I'm left feeling stressed and unhappy and helpless. How do things turn around so quickly? I'm just going to go upstiars and crawl under the covers and go to sleep now.

Just thought I'd post a really attractive photo of Grant and I.

I thought this would make you laugh, I thought it was hilarious!

Well today was the day that Ingi & I played in a busking comp for the opening of the 'Winter in Banyule: Celebrating the Arts' festival. It was fun! There were 5 buskers chosen from the ones who sent in applications and we were one of those lucky groups. We played two half hour sets in Were St. Montmerency and had a selection of people hanging around to watch us which was nice! We like having an audience! There were prizes given out at the end of the day. Unfortunately we didn't win any :( That's it, everyone do a collective groan....
*COLLECTIVE GROAN*
The judge's prize was $500 and that went to these two amazing acrobat guys who had a full on show! They deserved to win! Here's them posing for a photo after they won:



You should have seen what they could do! Then the people's choice award of $100 went to these two girls who did this African drumming routine. We were disappointed at not winning, but the other people really deserved to win, so it's all good. We're cool. We got a thankyou gift bag thing that had all sorts of goodies, the most exciting one being a small box of chocolates, so we could console ourselves after having lost.

But a huge thanks to those of you who came to support us, we really appreciate it. Here we are before we got underway:

I checked out a site of someone who posted here and look what I found! It's hilarious is a really bad kind of way! You've been warned!

"Some people are like Slinky's. They don't serve any real purpose, but it still makes you smile when you push them down the stairs."

By the way, just thought I'd clear this up for some people. I am mostly known on the net as Tink, and to some people in real life, so that's why people call me Tink from time to time. But the name Tink was taken on blogs, so I had to go with this other crazy name I made up. LONG LIVE TINK! And Ludicrousity...

I have just been to the wonderful site of Biz and she has inspired me to talk about socks! Check out her blog for more exciting tales of her new and wonderfully exciting socks!

Socks are one of the most exciting things in the known universe. Indeed in the unknown universe as well I suspect. I don't know of too many more exciting things than buying a new pair of socks and wearing them for the first time. If anyone is ever in any doubt as to what they should buy me for any sort of present, then get me a pair of knee high fun coloured socks! OH YEAH!!!!! SSSSSOOOOOOOCCCCCCCKKKKKKKSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

Here is the promsied blog of answers to everyone's questions! So much blogging I can hardly keep up with my own site and I'm online EVERY DAY!!! You're all crazier than me! Now THAT'S a statement! (see my photo for proof).

The Christian Living Seminar subject is basically reading the bible and studying society. Seeing how the bible relates to our culture, and how best to live it and represent it to others, so that is real, accurate and relevant. It's also about personal growth and seeing what God is asking of us personally.

No, we don't do human sacrifices, but I may be willing to start this up if someone annoys me enough... :)

No cheese I'm not ignoring you. Why do you think that? Sorry if I did.

Bible College is soooooo different to Certificate IV in youth and community work (christian) and diploma! It's much more comprehensive. I think there is a much wider view of everything, it's much broader in it's perspectives on things. There is a lot more research done and discussed on theories and topics we study. There is so much more homework invovled! There is a lot of reading to do and papers to write. C4 was very activty based, this is more academic (being a uni course and all). It's better all around I think. Not to diss c4, they do some great things, but it's not as good as this.

BAP, yes, the church have done some questionable and down right wrong things in the name of religion and God, but it's important to study all aspects of history I think to get a realistic perspective on what has happened so we don't repeat mistakes of the past. There are some incredible things that have been done through the ages by the church, and also some attrocities. It's important for me to learn about how to really hear God and be in close fellowship with others who are doing the same, so that we can be his voice and his body in the world to make change for positive. Our world is in such a mess that I want to be be more equipped to make a positive impact on my world.

I have a new lot of links down the side of my blog by the way. They are just sites I like, and thought people might wanna check out.

College is going well so far. I'm loving it! But it's a LOT of hard work! I've only done 3 out of 5 subjects so far and I have a heap of reading to do and 2 assignments due in next week. Grwk! I can invent words right? Excellent...

I'm highly excited about the student lounge having 2 piano's in it! I hope I don't spend all my time playing and no time studying...

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?




Can you smell carrots?

Today was my first official day at Kingsley College. I am now doing a Bachelor of Arts (Christian Ministry). I'm thinking about doing a grad dip in councilling afterwards, but that's a while away, so it's not something I need to think too much about just yet.

I did 'biblical survey B' this morning, then I did 'intro to hermeneutics' this afternoon. I really enjoyed both of them! I have a heap of reading to do already, and that's only 2 subjects! I do one more tomorrow (church history survey), then another two (christian living seminar II & intro to psych and councilling) on Thursday. I'm really enjoying it so far. The material is great, the lecturers are wonderful, and I have a great bunch of fellow students. And it only takes me 25 mins to get there. Yay!

Well guess what happened tonight? I rang Daniel to book in a time for us to play at the open mic night and he told me it had been shut down! We were so sad! Our regular 'gig' has been shut down. I'm sure there'd have to be something else out there for us, but we're very sad. We like the Wesley Anne, and we were getting to know all the regulars. Oh well. Poo happens. We managed to contact everyone who said they were coming to tell them we weren't performing. But we thought we should go anyway just in case others showed up who didn't tell us they were coming. So Ingi & I sat there for an hour having a good old chat. We had a good time, so it wasn't a complete waste of a night. But we're sad now... No more open mic night...

Well today was orientation day for college. It was just a half day to get to know some of the staff and find your way around campus. It was definately very helpful to go through some of the stuff. I now know where i'm going (mostly) and some of my lecturers. It was cool to meet the other mid-year intake students. I guess I'll meet the rest of them tomorrow. I can't wait to start real classes tomorrow! I have "biblical survey b" and "intro to herneneutics" tomorrow. Fun fun!

Hope to see some of you at the open mic night tonight!