Just What's A Canker Sore
8 years ago
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Well I just thought I'd write a bit about church tonight. It was a really great service. I sang those 2 songs I posted earlier in the week, and Dboy gave a talk. He did a wonderful job. Yay for Danny! Oh, and king kohl said he wouldn't tell me what he thought of my musical stuff unless it was in blog form!
Anyway, the topic tonight was about loneliness and how to deal with it. It's incredible the kind of mechanisms we come up with for coping with loneliness. Some of the more prominent ones are things like substance abuse and escapism. I have even used people as a means to escape loneliness. I know that sounds weird, but I am a very people orientated person, and I used to use company to not have to deal with my own problems. If I'm surrounded by others all the time, then I don't have time to think about myself and get lost in my internal world. I've sorted through that issue, but it used to be a big one for me in high school.
There is a really helpful diagram I learnt when I was studying in Tassie. Here it is:
The outer layer is the phoney but positive self that we show others, the second layer is the negative self view that we have. It's the part of ourselves that we think is the actual real self that we just don't show people. It's all the bad stuff we believe about ourselves. I used to get stuck in that, as a lot of people do. But there is another layer!!! The inner circle that is the actual real us. The person we are, with all our potential, all our wonderful parts, but with the flaws also. It's important to remember that the negative stuff isn't all there is to us! This means we are amazing people worthy of being loved by others. We are worth something! This was a great realisation for me, as I got stuck in the negative self view! I just thought it might be helpful for others to read as it helped me so much!
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That's interesting to hear Andrew. I'm sure everyone must have connected with one part or another of that service. I'd be shocked if I could find someone who hadn't struggled with loneliness at some point in their life. We all seem to cope with it in our own ways I guess.
Chickenhead! Ouch. I'm with Paul, I can't remember a time when we weren't ok with each other. But then again I'm the kind of person that feels close to someone even if I haven't seen them in a month - maybe it was different from your angle.
Pavlos. Yeah, interesting growing up in Arthurs Creek, hey? I guess you would know the difference though: I was there from 7 years old to 22 :) I'm glad that you're ok with being by yourself - I think that it's a good example of solitude (as opposed to loneliness, like Megan was saying in her previous posts).
Glad you liked the diagram dboy. It helped me anyway.
Now that I've had that overly enthusiastic start, don't think that this praise is also 'overly enthusiastic'.
Here it is, as promised:
Loved it, I never knew you could sing (even though you clearly said you could) and I love the first song so much (current 3rd favourite on the King Kohl charts). When people you know sing songs you love, usually the results are disasterous, not good, because you know the song, every line, every note, every *ahem* violin backing, but to still have me loving it is a true testament. If I hadn't have loved it I would not have been posting.
Seemingly just to prove my truthfulness I will say all the negative stuff as well.
I didn't really like the other song as much, I thought it was a bit repetative (as appropriate as it was) and once you had what I believe to be a barely noticable musical/keyboarding error. I'm not sure, but I think it was.
Aaaand... that's it. Can't think of a single other thing. Gowrsh, it must be awfully hard to sing and play keyboard at same time, is it? Cause you sure didn't make it look hard...
I answered this in Dboy's blog
I'm glad to hear you're getting better with the loneliness thing, Pavlos. I am too :)
Yeah, that's what I meant, not what I implied unfortunately
Guh? I don't get it dboy? Hmm... did it sound like I didn't take it well? Well I did. Oops if I conveyed anything different. Guess I'm just wanting to clear up with king kohl meant is all.
You're just soooooooooooo smart!
I remember being in Dicksmiths with my brother, we were watching sbsqarep on their TV's and it was so funny, and we were laughing so hard that we were asked to leave... I love that show. Admittedly it is a bit childish sometimes, but it has definate streaks of genius, the most random humour ever!
that hurt...