Thursday, September 15, 2005

Natural Tendencies

"We have a natural tendency to think that no one understand the uniqueness of our particular situation. This tendency is based on our bent toward blaming and externalizing our problems, thereby avoiding the hard work of taking ownership and working through them. If we can say, no one truly understands my life, it helps us feel justified to stay out of the growth path."

Pg. 93 "How People Grow" by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

18 Comments:

  1. Mutt said...
    Damn straight!
    Ludicrousity said...
    Glad you agree guys. It seems in the moment that we are the only ones who know what our situation is like, but how ridiculous to assume that no one else in history has ever experienced the human condition that we find ourselves in.
    Mutt said...
    well, technically no one can understand the uniquness of each other's predicaments.

    Myself, there are very few people who I understand how they tick, and even that faint grasp is insufficient for understanding the 'uniqueness'
    Ludicrousity said...
    I agree that we are all unique and different, but there are also aspects of us that are universally human. We can share in the world's of others. Even if we are unable to experience what they experience, we can connect with their experience.
    Ludicrousity said...
    Well said!
    HoneyBee said...
    Very ture!
    Mutt said...
    if any part of the situation is unique, even if it is only a small aspect, it is still unique.

    And I don't understand why one cannot think their situation is unique and still not take responsobility
    Mutt said...
    Hey Tink, if you go and see Luke, tell him i will go and see him, but I don't know when. Got two lots of relatives over from wierd places and am furiously trying to finish the second out of 3 folios which need to be handed in, not to mention hardly any free cars. Apologise on my behalf of my 'tardiness'
    Dboy said...
    I think I agree with Kohl here: one of the first things I learnt at when studying counselling is that we should never assume that we understand what anyone else has been through, because every person's experience is different.

    I do like Cloud and Townsend though, but I fear that this type of comment could be interpreted so that people can justify saying to another person: "Oh, I know exactly how you feel! You should do this...".
    Ludicrousity said...
    Oh I totally agree! I think everyone experiences things differently from everyone else. No two people experience anything the same, even if they experience the same event. But like I was attemping to say (not so clearly apparently), there is still a common human element. And we can connect with others whilst not knowing exactly how they feel. I hate people who say "Oh! I know exactly how you feel"! That's never true.
    Ludicrousity said...
    Don't make me kick you! Actually, to do that I'd have to meet you! We should do that some time soon!
    Mutt said...
    i've forgotten whether I agree with you or not anymore tink
    Ludicrousity said...
    You always don't not agree with me!
    Zebe said...
    uh... yes...
    Mutt said...
    I know exactly how you feel... EXACTLY!
    Ludicrousity said...
    I think people just want to feel heard and cared about. Sometimes words don't matter.
    Ludicrousity said...
    Well said!
    Dboy said...
    YES YES YES!!!

    I don't have any of their concrete anytails but I can! If!

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