Just What's A Canker Sore
9 years ago
Saturday, May 12, 2007
I'm kind of sad at the moment. I'm also excited. But sad. My 2 best friends are both moving away at the same time! Kathryn is about go head over to America to do one of those summer camp things and travel around a bit. She'll be gone for about 6 months. She leaves in just over a week. And Alison has taken a job in Mt Isa (central north Queensland) as a locum physio for a few months, then she's going to travel around our fair country for a while. So she'll be away for about 6 months too. She leaves in a few days. While I'm excited for them, I'm sad for me. These guys are my 2 best friends in the whole world and I'm going to miss their friendship and company. Email just isn't the same.
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That's one thing that bothers me about the modern age. When a loved one moved away in the old days it was a clean break, you moved on. But with modern technology there's this awkward, impersonal bond that remains. I'd rather just keep it as a clean break, keep the memories for what they were.
I suppose instantaneous long distance communication has more than enough useful purposes.
"...Real friends are few. The few real friends we enjoy generally come in one of two forms, both desirable and equally delightful. They are friends of the Road and friends of the Heart. ....
Is a friendship that fades away necessarily a bad thing? I don't think so. There is a line in James Michener's novel "Centennial" that speaks to how even good friendships can be fleeting: "He wished he could ride forever with these men ... but it could not be. Trails end and companies of (wo)men fall apart."
Some friendships are meant to be transitory. Like cowpokes who ride hard together for miles, sharing both dusty perils and round the campfire meals, we all have friendships that come to their natural end. Not because of discontent or lack of interest.
Simply because the road has run out.
We've hit the end of the trail together and it's time to move on to other things, other companies of wo/men.
Understand, these are not failed friendships. Not at all. They are friendships of the Road, equally intense, equally necessary, equally worth cultivating and treasuring as the long-lasting versions. We couldn't survive without them.
They get us through a particular stretch of road, and for that we can be grateful.
The friends we meet along life's road make the journey joyful. And they are just as fulfilling as friendships of the Heart.
Cherish the memories!
But I appreciate the nice sentiment! :)
*copies and pastes that somewhere inspiring*
Take me and Paul for example, he moved to Canberra at the start of the year and we speak maybe (if we get around to it) twice a month via email or phone or something - i've only seen him twice this year but when we catch up we don't even miss a beat. It is really just like he never left. I can't see why that wouldn't be the case here.
FG: when a loved one moved away in the old days you wrote a letter. Or visited, or sent your regards via others or all of the above. After all you just described them as loved ones. The Apostle Paul loved the churches he planted and he did all those things i've mentioned and no one accused him of having an impersonal relationship with those people. So they're not in your face everyday - doesn't mean you stop caring or inputing into their lives. Why would you?
I'm not going to lose contact with my friends. I don't think we're going to lose our friendship, but they are moving away and that changes the dynamics for the time they are away, and I'm sad about that.
I too prefer the clean break. By this I mean, not trying to maintain the interdependence with those who are largely absent from the daily face to face relationship. It doesn't mean no letters/emails, but it does mean allowing those who have left to establish their lives elsewhere without me.
Having said all this, I hope Ludicrosity, that you find peace in the midst of your loss.